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"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." – Ephesians 4:15-16

Truth and love can feel like oil and water—if not opposites, at least awkward to have in the same space together. It can feel like we must choose between the two—either a Grinch-like stand for truth or being so nice that truth gets shafted into an out-of-sight corner. However, Jesus calls us to something greater: to speak (and live) the truth—and to do so in a manner that is deeply rooted in love.

Truth Without Love

Some are passionate about defending biblical truth and, in doing so, may adopt a tone that feels overly confrontational. When truth is communicated in a way that comes off as accusatory or dismissive, it can unintentionally alienate those who are struggling or seeking guidance. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:2 that without love, even the most profound insights fall short of their purpose. Instead of a harsh rebuke, our goal should be to extend an invitation to restoration—mirroring how Jesus approached correction with both boldness and gentleness (see, for instance, Luke 19:1-10).

Love Without Truth

On the other hand, some may hesitate to address challenging issues for fear of causing offense, choosing instead to avoid difficult conversations. While preserving peace is valuable, withholding important truths can inadvertently deprive us all of growth and clarity. Jesus, full of compassion, did not shy away from delivering hard truths. His warnings about sin and calls to repentance were not intended to condemn but to liberate, even when the message was difficult to hear.

The Balance of Truth and Love

Ephesians 4:15-16 calls us toward maturity—a maturity that includes not only understanding truth but also expressing it with grace (see John 1:14, 17). Effective communication isn’t merely about the content of our message; it’s about the context and the relational dynamics at play.
Here are some practical guidelines:

  • Examine Our Motives. Ask yourself: Is my goal to simply assert a point, or am I genuinely seeking the well-being of the person I’m engaging with? Let humility and self-reflection guide your words.
  • Listen First. James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Taking time to understand someone’s perspective—acknowledging their emotions and experiences—opens the door for a more productive dialogue.
  • Use Gracious Words. As Colossians 4:6 encourages us to let our speech be “gracious, seasoned with salt,” choose language that builds up rather than divides. Softening our tone does not mean watering down the truth; it means delivering it in a way that is accessible and compassionate.
  • Point to Christ. Ultimately, our aim is not to win arguments but to lead hearts closer to Jesus. He is both the standard of truth and the embodiment of love. Allow His example to guide how you communicate—with conviction, yet with a gentle spirit.